Hello and Thank You for Calling
by DrivvenWrinth
Summary: 5 Little drabbles about the boys working in telemarketing. AU Drabbles, Crack humor YAOI male/male ShinoKiba, IzumoKotetsu, RaidouGenmaHyate, hinted NarutoIruka
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of the characters, plots, etc. I don't make any money from this. One of my muses was just tickled by an e-mail I received yesterday and decided to prod me into another drabble. Big thanks to my sis FairyNiamh for beta-ing *hugs*

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**Tourism for Pervs**

"Thank you for calling Konoha Tourism. My name is Izumo. Are you interested in..." He was interrupted.

"This isn't Konoha Ukes Unlimited?!!" The other man sounded distraught. "My adorable little bottom has run off and left me all alone. I need comfort." There was a dramatic sob. "Will you comfort me?" The voice turned suggestive.

'Damn pervert!' "I'm sorry sir, but you have reached Konoha Tourism. What number were you trying to reach?" The phone agent kept his voice pleasant. Inside he was seething.

"I was calling Uke's Unlimited. I was on hold and lonely and I got little impatient... The paper with the number is a little messy... I can't read it anymore... You sound like a nice guy... Are you tall? I like long legs." Izumo was steaming.

"Sir, if you aren't calling for information on Konoha Tourism. I'm afraid I can't help you. You have called Konoha Tourism..." He was trying to end the call politely.

"I bet you have long slender legs... If I visit Konoha do I get to see your legs?" The perv interrupted him again. "I like nice deep valleys and cave diving..."

This time he was the one that was interrupted. Izumo's face was flaming. "Due to the nature of the call the agent is disconnecting. Have a pleasant night sir!"

CLICK

Kotetsu was a dead man when Izumo got off work!

`fin`


	2. Chapter 2

**Fun with Co-workers**

Shikamaru sat in front of his computer. His job was to route the incoming calls to the agents. The system was very sophisticated, it even had a caller ID feature. He'd designed it and Shino had built it. He was just starting his shift and his quiet friend was giving him a run down from the shift beforehand.

Before Shino left, he wordlessly pointed to the screen. Whenever possible, the computer would flag repeat callers based on the caller ID. The number in red on the screen was very familiar and he knew just where to route that caller. He chuckled as he hit enter and heard Izumo's voice reading the opening of the Tourism script. "Third time tonight." Shino said as he left the booth chuckling.

A few minutes later Izumo stood up and glared at the smirking Nara over the cubicle wall. Shika just winked at him and hit enter. Izumo threw his hands in the air as he received another call.

`fin`


	3. Chapter 3

**Two Ships in the Night**

"Hello and thank you for calling Konoha Tourism. My name is Iruka. Are you interested in our free travel guide or can I assist you in making a reservation."

"Um... I think I have the wrong number..."

"I'm very sorry sir. What number were you trying to reach?"

"Um... It's not important..."

"I'd be happy to look it up for you sir."

"Wow! It's like two o'clock in the morning and you're so polite. You don't even sound fake!"

There was a chuckle on the other end of the line. "Well, that is due in part to large amounts of caffeine. And I do like helping people."

Naruto smiled. The man had a nice voice. "I actually live in Konoha, so I don't really need tourist info." He waited a moment to see if the man would cut him off now, he didn't. "I was calling an online college... I can see where I dialed it wrong..."

"Then you don't need me to look it up for you? What do you plan on studying?" Naruto knew he was just being nice, but he really liked the sound of the man's voice, it was rich and warm.

"No that's okay. Counseling. I like kids. Oh wow, didn't that sound creepy?!" He cringed.

Iruka laughed. "It's okay I think I know what you meant. I'm a school teacher. I answer phones part time."

"You mean you do this at this time of the morning and then go deal with other people's kids all day?!"

Iruka chuckled again. "Yes, but I enjoy both." That sounded like a lie to Naruto. He scratched his blond head.

"Well I probably better let you go, so you can get the tourists into Konoha..."

"That's is what I'm here for. Thank you for calling... I didn't get your name..."

"Naruto."

"Well Naruto, thank you for calling Konoha Tourism. And if there is nothing I can do for you... I hope you have a good day and good luck with your on-line classes."

"Thank you Iruka. You have a good day too."

He hung up the phone with a twinge of regret. Sometimes when he met people he could just tell that they would be important to him. He usually went out of his way to keep those people close.

Naruto had that feeling now, but there wasn't anything that he could do about it, right? He re-dailed the phone feeling a little lighter and happier for the exchange, but also a little forlorn as well.

`fin`


	4. Chapter 4

**Mixing Work and Pleasure**

Genma had just finished up his teams evaluations in time to see Hayate come through the door. He smiled at the pale man. Hayate blushed and smiled before entering the control booth to relieve Shikamaru. He was only limping slightly. That made Genma feel a little better. He'd been afraid that they'd over-done things and pushed his frailer frame too far.

Raidou came out of the couching room with two newbies in tow and caught Gen's eye. Genma could see the relief there as well. When they had left Hayate's apartment that morning to head to work, Genma had been limping a bit as well. Raidou had apologized for being rougher than normal.

Genma understood. They'd finally seduced the adorable little recluse and there really was nothing hotter than a threesome.... Well, except maybe a standing threesome. Now that they'd caught him, neither one of them planned to let Hayate get away from them.

`fin`


	5. Chapter 5

**Manipulation**

Shino opened the door to the apartment he shared with his lover. Kiba looked up at him from where he lay sprawled on the futon.

"You do it on purpose!" He stated the accusation as a fact. Shino didn't respond, he just looked at his sulking lover.

"Don't give me that look!" Kiba sat up and crossed his arms over his chest and looked for all the world like a pouting child. He really didn't get it. He looked so cute sulking petulantly. Shino's pants grew a little tighter.

"Come on Shino! Why do you send all the perverts to me?!" Kiba stood up and started pacing in distress. Shino watched him blush and fidget. "Do you want perverts saying nasty things to your boyfriend?!!" He was almost whining. His voice almost had the same tone as when he would beg Shino to let him cum. A shiver of lust rippled through the quiet man as he continued to watch his agitated lover.

"I don't send all the perverts to you Kiba." He said flatly as he turned to take his coat off. 'Just most of them.' "Izumo gets a lot of those calls too. Iruka, Genma, and Raidou have to deal with them as well. The only thing I do try to do is send those calls to our more experienced agents until the new hires and the temps get their feet wet. Do you want to go back to working seven days a week?"

Kiba glared at his feet. "No." Shino smiled to himself. Kiba was so easily led, so easily manipulated. If the man ever found out the real reason why. Shino gave him the largest number of known perv callers, he'd become difficult deal with and Shino's devious fun would be ruined.

He set his coat on the chair and walked over to Kiba. The anger was slowly seeping away. His lover's shoulders were beginning to slump and his head was down. Embarrassment was taking the place of anger. Shino moved to comfort his distressed lover.

"I might as well be working a phone sex line!" Kiba's voice cracked. Shino should have felt bad. Instead he was just too turned on. He was a bastard and he knew it. He loved Kiba like this, distraught, embarrassed and in need of comfort from his strong seme. He put his hands on Kiba's shoulder and his lover predictably sagged back into him. Shino whispered into his ear. "You can't do that. You don't get to talk like that to anyone but me." He kissed Kiba's ear gently making his lover shiver nicely.

"I wouldn't have to say anything special. Hell, they're whacking off to the Tourism script! They just want someone on the other end of the line to say nasty things to and listen to them pant!" Kiba pressed back into Shino's comfortingly solid chest. "I feel so gross. I need a shower."

"No." Shino whispered as he led Kiba to the bathroom. "A nice relaxing bath. I'll wash you. Then you can rinse off while I shower." Kiba nodded carelessly. Oh no, they couldn't shower together yet. Kiba couldn't see that he was already hard. That would ruin EVERYTHING.

`fin`


End file.
